rehabbed: if you take me on a date to an amusement park you have a 103% chance of getting laid
claydols: my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
cosmicfathoms: heyitspj: ishidakiyomondo: what if gamzee said ‘old sport’ instead of ‘brother’ or ‘motherfucker’ the great gamzee
partybarackisinthehousetonight: wow. it’s hard to believe that the number on the back of every sports jersey is the amount of people each player has murdered
vvaddles: vvaddles: club penguin is the only thing i have left nevermind
wigggins: aaaaah don’t want to go out if it’s not going to get mcdonalds.
gooutfighting: now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday
internetexplorers: if you try to call me “sweetie” or “honey” or “sweetheart” when we’re arguing may god help you because i will actually scratch your face off
fullmetalfisting: one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
scribblenauts: “hey we’re gonna order pizza” “you have to finish your homework first”
cnnbreaking: *gets A on test* .02% rise on grade *gets C on test*
high-blogging: lntelligent: i wish self-hatred burned calories
striderfeels: jfc i’ve been laughing for 50 years okay so this is my new favourite thing i’m on omegle and people are like *MOTHERFUCKIN SWOON MARSHALL LEE* and then i’m all SURPRISE KARKAT nO ONE EVER EXPECTS THE VANTAS INQUISITION
hungarian: *takes a nap* who am i
worldfamousprofessor: spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious” contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition? moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
chiebutt: What I look for in a partner: Blue Eyes White Dragon
koulin: pewpuupalace: zeonhime: the worst feeling about trying to draw is being a mediocre artist. You realize you’re not terrible and family and friends who can’t draw at all tell you all the time how amazing you are, but you, as the artist, have seen what amazing really is and you realize that it isn’t you. 500% me oh my fuck god this post just this post.
naegishoodie: the school year is almost over!! you can do it!! ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
rabioheab: ha ha look at that nerd he just peed his fucking pants “sir that is a 2 month old baby”
popekankri: OKAY SO FOR HEALTH CLASS WE HAD TO DO SOME RESEARCH ON ARSENIC. AND WELL IT’S AN EXTREMELY TOXIC CARCINOGEN. CARCINOGENETICIST. ARSENICCATNIP. NEPETA. NAMED. IT. THAT. BECAUSE. OF. KARKAT. SHE DID IT BECAUSE OF HIM.
an-egg: its time to get into my pajamas (removes bra) all done
ahemily: ahemily: guys im online shopping for dog collars and i just found a website where you can have stuff printed on the collars and theres one here that says ‘slut’ thats hillarious :’) edit: this one says ‘bitch’ omfgggg HOLY SHIT THOSE COLLARS ARNT FOR DOGS THERE FOR PEOPLE THIS IS A FETISH AND BONDAGE WEBSITE OH GOD
grodus: true friendship is being comfortable enough to openly discuss pornography with each other
solubility: the hole in my heart can only be filled by a #2 pencil. Do not use a mechanical pencil. Do not leave any stray marks.
zacwells: hey c’mere No Closer… closer… *kiss*
sexhaver: boredlord: What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism? this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
unironicgoth: my favorite eye color is your eye color and my favorite height is your height and my favorite weight is your weight my favorite hands are your hands my favorite knees are your knees